For most of the past five years, I have been documenting your life through this blog, as well as some of my inner most thoughts and feelings about being a mother. Doing so has provided me the ability to record moments that meant the most to me so I have them forever. Being honest and open through my blog also provided me the ability to survive a transition that was very difficult for me: becoming a mother. I hope that when you read my words years from now, those dark feelings I recorded will not hurt you. I hope, in fact, shall you find yourself transitioning into a mother, that my words will be a source of comfort for you.
I have had a front row seat to the most amazing show for the past five years, watching you discover the world around you and finding out what makes you YOU. Let me tell you kid, you are fantastic. You are the best of your father and the best of me, strung together with a beauty and charm that's all your own.
You are confident and extroverted. You never hesitate to make small talk with the cashier, or ask a stranger a question if you think they have the answer. You love meeting new people and participating in everything.
You are bright. Your curiosity is never-ending. You don't settle for the easy answer. You absorb everything that matters to you, and your memory is infallible.
You are caring. You know when I'm not feeling well, and you ask how you can help. You offer support and soothing when a peer is upset. You apologize when you've done something that hurts another, and you're very hard on yourself when you do.
You are naturally funny. You've had this natural humor about you since you began stringing words together. Your delivery turns ordinary moments into ones filled with gut-wrenching laughter. But when you actually try to be funny, you miss the mark.
No one could have prepared me for the journey a mother begins when her child is born. I had experienced joy, wonder, excitement, sadness, and pain, but never had I experienced those emotions with a mother's heart. When you feel joy and wonder, my heart feels a little warmer. When you feel excitement, my heart skips a beat too. When you feel sadness and pain, it courses through my veins and stings my heart. My heart is incredibly full, yet every day my love for you grows. Thank you for teaching me what unconditional love means, and for accepting and thriving on the love I have to give.
I have no doubt you will grow up to be an extraordinary human being. I hope your joys outweigh your sorrows, and I hope you will lean on me whenever you need a mother's love. I hope you find the love of your life, and that he watches you sleep and wonders how he got so lucky to have you by his side. I hope you remain confident and bright in a world that will try to tell you beauty is all that matters. I hope we've taught you to respect others, and most importantly to respect yourself. And above all else, I hope you love your life, whatever kind of life you choose to live.
A mother's love runs deep; Addison, I love you more than you could ever comprehend.