There is a game I play on my DS that resembles Wheel of Fortune, and one of the puzzles I seem to get a lot is "Necessity is the mother of invention," or something like that. This blog was invented out of necessity - out of the need for me to sort out the wide spectrum of thoughts swirling around in my head as I prepared for, and eventually experienced, the daily joys and challenges of motherhood. I needed to make sense of it all, and the public outlet was my personal form of therapy. By documenting all my dark, horrible thoughts for anyone to read, I was taking the weight off my shoulders. And it was fantastic.
The day has come though, in which the need that my blog was invented for exists no more. Thoughts of feeling guilty for not immediately falling in love with my baby have been replaced with my scrambling to drum up a picture worthy of posting for Totally Cute Tuesday. I've gotten bored with writing, and it shows. My early posts were deep, thoughtful, and interesting (to me, at least). Now they are brief, to the point (linear, according to Matt), and shallow. When I read back through my posts of the past couple months, rather than being sucked in, I'm bored. And I'm sure you are all bored too.
But sorry, I'm not gonna stop blogging. In five months, five years, or any number of months or years down the road, I will be sad if I don't have mommyhood documented. And since I can't seem to muster up the energy or creativity to complete a scrapbook of Addy, this is all I've got! And I really want her to be able to explore this when she's older - to experience her life through my eyes. I want her to be able to laugh at her funny pictures, and be able to understand how deeply I love her. And maybe one day, when she's pregnant and unsure of herself as a soon-to-be mother, maybe she will read my blog and know she's not alone.
So since I'm currently bored with writing, and I'm bored with trying to figure out what to write about, or if I'm being funny enough or emotional enough or interesting enough...since I have so many stupid little things I want to post but can't seem to justify devoting an entire post to topics such as how many times she farted today...I'm creating a new series of posts. Most will probably be pictures or videos, some will have text and thoughts...but the series will give me a chance to get a little creative. Many of you seem to look forward to Totally Cute Tuesdays, so hopefully this also will be something to look forward to. Stay tuned!