I can't believe how much has changed around here in the past five weeks, compared to what I shared in the blog post I wrote on February 16th. Reading that post now, those thoughts and emotions feel like a distant memory. I was feeling helpless, scared, and overwhelmed. Five weeks later, I'm feeling capable, excited, and in control.
What's caused the improvements? Well, I think it's three-fold. First, Addy's digestive system started to mature, resulting in less gas and fussiness. Second, I feel the CIO sleep training was 100% the right choice for our stubborn little princess, allowing her to get adequate restful sleep and allowing me to finally achieve that successful bedtime routine I was so desperately wanting. And lastly, our wonderful friend Science has given me a sense of mental stability that I haven't felt in years. I question on a daily basis why I so heavily resisted taking medication for my depression. I feel lighter, calmer, more easy-going, playful, hopeful, less neurotic. But most importantly, I feel like "me".
Addison is the light of my life. She amazes me every day with every little thing she does. I love to watch her mind work, to see her expressions in reaction to the world around her. The bad nights aren't so bad anymore. The crying spells are kind of cute. And when she giggles, well, I melt.
A few years ago, I started a scrapbook entitled "The Good Stuff". My goal was to take a picture of or write down one thing every day that made me smile - something small, something easily forgotten - so that when I was feeling particularly down, I could flip through the scrapbook and be reminded of how wonderful the small things in life are. Today, I don't need that scrapbook. All I need to do is look at the beautiful face of my daughter, and all is right with the world. That's the good stuff, the best stuff.